Things we won’t be seeing in the Ashes to Ashes finale
Alex Drake’s drunk faces by popartinferno on tumblr.
We haven’t seen drunk Alex lately, and [unfortunately] I doubt we’ll ever be seeing her again.
It’s a pity – season one Alex, in particular, was quite a bit more fun. She didn’t take the 1981 world seriously. I loved her theory that everyone was a psychological construct, treating them all as if they didn’t really exist.
The show has since grown much darker in tone, which I’m guessing must reflect the ending a little. If I recall correctly, Life on Mars was similar, in that the first season wasn’t quite as dark as the second. But Sam Tyler was never quite as much fun as Alex. He never decided to shag a Thatcherite purely to spite his mother. And he didn’t get drunk half as often.
But anyway, back to Bolly. Here’s five [more] things that we won’t see in the finale:
01. It was all a dream.
The typical soap opera ending. There’s no possible way that a series so complex could be resolved with such a cliché. Imagine Alex waking up in the hospital, Wizard of Oz-style, surrounded by Gene, Chris, Ray & Shaz. “You were there, and you, and you, and you.” I don’t think so.
02. Alex & Gene get married, make babies, and live happily every after.
It would make the Galex fans happy, I’m sure. But once again, it doesn’t quite suit the tone of the show. And while I’m not opposed to seeing Alex & Gene together, I’d feel quite cheated if all the build-up led to a fairytale ending that didn’t actually explain anything.
03. Ray turns out to be gay.
I know the jokes were all there, but it’d be a pretty cheap shot to end his character with, and I think that over this series in particular, Ray has been given the chance to develop into much more than just the butt of a sequence of Macho Men jokes. Even still, I do love his reaction to finding out Tom Robinson was gay. “Shut up, nancy boy! Hey! And don’t sing about motorways, neither! It’s misleading, all right!?”
04. Gene is actually Alex’s father. Or Alex is his mother.
Either way, that would be some sort of oedipal/freudian nightmare. I haven’t actually seen any theories floating around that suggest this, but I needed something else to pad out the list.
05. They’re all actually on Mars, on a “gene hunt”.
Nobody in their right mind would possibly even consider that to be the ending of a television series, would they? Somebody must have been on a lot of something to come up with that one. My guess is crack.